Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Interview With A Vampire

TLC and Eddie DC Cullen Take 2

TLC: well good moanin' Eddie! (wave)
Eddie: Mornin' darlin'. What you got on tap for me?
TLC: Well I did do a donation the other day that I got in the cooler in the back of the Jeep for ya...since it still might be a little early for a PBR...
TLC: Some nice O- straight...
Eddie: Never to early for blood or PBR, babe.
Eddie: We got some questions to attend, I hear...
TLC: ok well help yourself to both..
TLC: well yes you do... there were some pretty interesting ones but like we discussed only the best made it through
Eddie: I think I'll crack my first brew over the first question.
TLC: I think last time we went pretty easy on you right off the bat... so why don't I hit ya with one of the harder ones...
Eddie: Go for it, I got nothin' against 'hard'
TLC: ok sorry...
TLC: From Ms Moon:Eddie what's your take on Twilight and the subculture of fanfiction
Eddie: Well, y'all know I don't read that shit (no offense to you readers or writers, 'course). Never touched the books, though I believe Bubba did. I got nothin' against the fanfiction side of things; it's free entertainment, right? And it gives writers a chance to experiment...y'all know I'm all about experimentin', sexually.
TLC: well what I wouldnt give to be able to experiment with you Eddie...Next Question comes from Onesweetbell- SHe wants to know Will there be some sort of truce or what not with Marcus and Didyma?
Eddie: I heard Miss Onesweetybell had a lotta questions that couldn't be answered 'cause they ain't happened yet. Same goes with this one. I don't know what the fuck's goin' on with Marcus and DeeDee. But I'm tendin' towards war more than peace, bein' partial to tearin’ some motherfuckers apart when it comes to protectin’ my woman or my family, you know?
TLC: can I just say your protective side is pretty hawt Eddie...
Eddie: Bella thinks so too ;).
TLC: Now for something we don't get to see a lot of this one comes from Amanda DcCullen-We all know that you are one BAMF Rebel vamp, is there a romantic part of you that you shy away from only to let Bella see that we ladies don‘t know of?! If so, can you share some of the gestures and romantic things you do with her? ….scouts honor that I will be very JEALOUS I can assure you that lol!
Eddie: Well now, it wouldn't be romantic if it was tell-all, would it.
Eddie: But,what I consider to be romantic may not be typical, and that’s just me. Holdin’ onto Bella’s yeller dress…havin’ it drycleaned and ready for her when she got back from Volterra. Watchin’ her sleep, and not wakin’ her up even when I really wanted to screw her on my upright piano, gettin’ her those taxidermy lessons from Sue pernell. Yeah, I’m a hard motherfucker, and one part of me’s definitely hard when she’s concerned, but I love her. I’m selfish, greedy, insatiable when it comes to her but I try to make her feel good and satisfied in everythin’ I do for her.
TLC: well you certainly make me swoon with gestures like that...
TLC: So Remmy wants to know whats with you and Abby?
Eddie: Yeah, Mepkin Abbey. It's real's quiet, because them dudes in dresses can't talk on account of their vow of silence. So I like that. And they don't mess with me. In fact, they hardly even act like there's a vampire wanderin' around the place. I ain't all into introverted thinkin' and that crap, but sometimes I just need to chill the fuck out.
TLC: Speaking of not being all introverted and quiet... Whats your favorite thing to do when your just with Bubba and Jizzper?
Eddie: That there's a no brainer, babe:
Eddie: Drinkin’
Tractor racin’
Drinkin’ while tinkerin’ with our trucks
Did I mention drinkin’? And sometimes we like to smoke weed too
Eddie: Oh, and drinkin' some more
TLC: so in other words tearin' the place up ;)
Eddie: Somethin' lke that, yeah...
TLC: Here is another from Remmy:Everyone knows you are quiet the intelligent guy, instead of asking what books you've read, my question is what Books haven't you read?
Eddie: This Twilight thing for starters, like I said. Shit like You: The Owners Manual by that Doctor Oz fucker. Like I need a damn book to tell me about mahself, and that goes for any and all of that self-help bullshit. Y'all, I been around so long there ain't much I haven't read. Yeah, and sometimes goddamn Bubba ropes me into a damn readalong or whatever. Shit, last Tuesday I think he was readin' from some Judith Krantz thing. I tuned him as best I could.
TLC: lol
TLC: poor poor Eddie...
TLC: Last Official question...
TLC: If you could go back and do it all over again, would you do anything differently & if so what & how would you change/do it?
Eddie: Oh yeah. Remember that time I royally pissed Bella off (I seem to recall I tried to kill Ja-cub) and she moved back in with Chief Chump? Then she wouldn’t talk to me for about a week? Oh, and even friggin’ worse…then she wouldn’t let me fuck her durin’ that whole damn trip to FL. That. I’d definitely change that.
TLC: *gasp*
TLC: ***I havent made it to that part yet :( ***
TLC: the nerve of Bella to do that to you...
Eddie: Well, what the fuck you waitin' for?
Eddie: Oh, I had it comin', trust me.
TLC: I need infinite time...
TLC: perhaps if someone would change me I wouldnt have to have the pesky thing called sleep in my way of readin...
Eddie: Yeah, that does help with havin' time to pursue all my interests ;).
TLC: but I guess thats for another time...
TLC: So any parting words for all your fans Eddie...
Eddie: I ain't really into makin' a big spectacle of myself. I'll just say thanks to all the ladies still hangin' around the double wide; y'all sure are entertainin'.
TLC: Well why wouldn't they...we love and adore you, Eddie :*
TLC: lol
Eddie: Sweet, thanks babe ;)
TLC: and if I didn't have my own Bubba at home...I'd certainly have a fuckton more time to spend with you ;)